Mom: 1, Dad: 0

It's Saturday - pizza and movie night at the Spongemom house. I've been lying on the couch dozing off and on to Harry Potter blaring on the television, while Garrett is simultaneously filling me in on Everything I Never Wanted To Know About Hippos (taking advantage of his partially comatose, but captive, audience).

While (Most hippos live to the age of thirty-five!) momentarily (Baby hippos stop nursing at ten months old!) conscious (Female hippos begin breeding at four years of age, but males start at ten!), I catch THE most entertaining conversation I've heard all day:

Seth: Garrett, please get the pretzels off the table so Delaney will quit feeding them to me.

Garrett: There are no pretzels on the table, Dad.

Seth: Then where is she getting them from?

*insert hysterical laughter from Mom here, because she knows EXACTLY where Delaney's been getting the pretzels*

Mom (completely awake now): The trash! Bwahahahaa! You've been eating TRASH PRETZELS! What other little snacks has she brought you, Dad? *dissolves into more hysterical laughter and runs for the blog*