Triumphant Return (Spongemom - the Lost Months)

I know. I KNOW! Three months! Can I just blame it on the holidays? So you are now in for the longest photo blog EVAH. I'll just try to hit the highlights. And if you're still here checking in after I've been such a blogging tool, you rock.

OCTOBER:

Somehow in I convinced Seth to let me purchase my first Kitchen-Aid mixer. Isn't she gorgeous? Note sad white mixer in background - he has been demoted to cake mixes only. Miss Scarlett handles all the buttercream.

Delaney discovered her passion for the "TASH!"...and began drinking heavily.

Delaney also figured out peek-a-boo around the same time. The hands on her head? That's peekaboo. Not QUITE, but still adorable. Must be all the drinking.

Then came Halloween. We trick or treated with two other groups of friends, and fun was had by everyone but Garrett. He whined, cried, and threw a fit for the entire three block / one hour trip around the neighborhood that we were "supposed to start out going LEFT down our street, not RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!" WTF? I don't know either. Regardless, we have Little Bo Peep, Cowboy Whiny-Pants, and Bo Peep's Sheep (with Evie the duck, my friend Emily's little girl)

NOVEMBER:

Somewhere around the beginning of November, I was commissioned to perform the marriage ceremony of one Laura Elizabeth to one Garrett Alexander. It was a lovely ceremony. They've been fighting like a crotchety married couple ever since. Oh wait! They did that before! A match made in heaven.

Soon after, I had a minor mid-life crisis, in which I lost 12 pounds (with 40 still to go, dammit), bought a wii (wii Fit Super Hula Hup kicks my ass!) got a haircut and a highlight for the first time in years, purchased new makeup, and bought underwear of the non-maternity variety (which I was so excited about I actually TOLD the checkout girl that they were my first non-maternity underwear in over a year - go me).

Feeling like the old me (or at least a version of) for the first time in six years, I embarked on a trip to see the New Kids on the Block (20 year reunion tour!) in Kansas City with my best friends Emily (shown) and Andrea. Here we are at valet parking in downtown KC, at the coolest hotel I've been in for a very long time. We were treated to free champagne upon arrival, due to being the NKOTB fans to bring the most alcohol for the fewest people. WE WIN!

Our mod chartreuse and red surroundings, complete with NKOTB pillowcase, circa 1989. Placed Joe and Donnie side up, of course. You know, for all the pillow kissing. Because (squeeeeal) I am now thirteen freaking years old!

Morning after remnants, shown below - I thought it appropriate to crop out the empty cigarette packs, beer bottles, and champagne glasses. Showing a little respect...the big-as-my-head NKOTB button and the Joe, Donnie, and Jordan action figures deserve AT LEAST that after their eighteen long years in the attic, yo.

I redeemed myself of the Boy Band Shame by attending an Eagles concert later that week here in Springfield.

Still in an 80's frame of mind, I filled an order for two dozen 80's themed cupcakes, shown below. Way fun!

Late November brought Thanksgiving, which we celebrated once with my family and once with Seth's. We entertained ourselves by watching fifteen month old Delaney methodically remove and then place on our plate each and every vegetable morsel that came in contact with her mouth. But she kept the macaroni and potatoes. I find it fascinating that I have borne a carb-freak (QUIT LAUGHING).

Fun Fact! We also entertained ourselves by watching family members roll their eyes at Delaney's special Thanksgiving bib, which states "I only cry when Republicans hold me" - after which everyone insisted on a turn holding her, just to spite that crazy left-wing, liberal-ass bib.

DECEMBER:

Delaney continues with the trash obsession. She is considered speech delayed, due to her refusal to ever ONCE utter the words "Mama", but talks about the "TASH" all damn day. She discovers along about December that the trash contains FOOD! She is unbelievably picky about the food we serve her in her high chair, but Trash Food? Trash Food is apparently the bomb. Especially when it's Pringles.

Apparently Floor Milk is also delightful:

It was also around this time that we discovered she WOULD actually eat the food we were attempting to serve her at mealtime in her high chair...if we put the food on the floor. Because Floor-io's? Way better than even Beer-io's. Could you please send along our Parents Of The Year award now?

Strengthened by all the eating, Delaney began walking just after Thanksgiving. I'd forgotten how much I adore the Franken-baby waddle.

I got super busy with cakes at the beginning of December. While I'm working in the kitchen, Delaney spends much of the time hanging around my feet. I felt terrible this particular day - she'd been whining at me for a while, ready for her nap, and I kept putting it off, trying to get myself to a stopping point. She finally gave up and fell asleep on the floor. What's that? You say my award is on it's way to me now?

This is Laura's last year of preschool, so we especially enjoyed her class Christmas program. She was Mary this year, and ever so gentle and full of peace as she guided (read: dragged) Joseph down the aisle by the elbow and lovingly tossed baby Jesus in the manger.

As a Christmas gift, Seth's parents bought us all tickets to the "Noah - The Musical" show here in Branson. The theater has a wrap-around stage to resemble Noah's Ark, complete with various live and animatronic creatures. Other than the Branson-cheesiness factor, it was lots of fun, and of course Garrett and Laura were in awe of all the live animals. The only drawback to the day was my all-out wheezing, weeping, sniffling, itching-my-eyeballs out allergy attack, induced by two hours of exposure to mounds of hay and hairy animals.

Christmas brought four different family celebrations, with more stockings, food, treats, and gifts than we could keep track of.

For our Christmas Eve brunch at home, the table was set nicely for the first time since, um, last Christmas. I always take photographic evidence of this miraculous occurence - a grown up (!) table, complete with stemware (!), with no crayons, paper, dried glue, or sticky syrup spots to be found.

I also made my first ever successful attempt at a yeast-bread with Pioneer Woman's cinnamon rolls. Oh. My. God. Make them now. NOW.

Since we're all poor this year, we drew names at my family's Christmas instead of buying for everyone. Laura drew my 18 year old brother Ryan's name, so I used the opportunity to encourage (beg?) him to stay in college at least one more semester. We included a Starbuck's gift card so as not to thoroughly piss him off:

The kids were up and at 'em at 5:30 am on Christmas morning, but we banned the touching of all gifts and stockings until we could stumble out of bed at 7:30 and make coffee.

My favorite stocking gift (of the DECADE) came in Delaney's stocking, from Mrs. Claus (aka Nana). Clearly, we believe early training of our children is key:

JANUARY:

We're muddling through, trying to get back in the swing of things after a (HELLISH) two week "vacation" (I use the term loosely) from school. Laura has been late to preschool every day for the last week, and Garrett has missed the bus twice. But by God, I've never been so happy to see that bus roll down the street as I was on January 5. Was it wrong to wear my party hat and throw confetti at the bus driver?

Laura is enjoying Delaney now that she's old enough to semi-join in the fun. Here they are feeding one of the 214 new baby dolls that they received for Christmas. Dolls with fevers? Right here. Dolls that babble and say "mama"? We got 'em. Dolls that cry? Check. Dolls that poop, pee, and want to be fed? Check, check, check!

And then, there's me - squealing excitedly for totally different reasons:

I dedicate this post to George W. Bush and his last eight days in office. Amen. See ya sooner next time!